Thursday, June 22, 2006


Awards Night

Attended the Professional Hockey Writers' Association BBQ last night in Vancouver. Jesus Christ on a saltine cracker, you should see Bob Mckenzie eat a hot dog. I won't get into too much detail, but if you threw a blonde wig on him, he could give Jenna Jameson a run for her money.

Anyways, as you might know, the NHL awards are determined by the votes of the PHWA. What you might not know, is that the finalists for each award are actually just the top three vote-getters each year. By the time the finalists are announced, the winners are already known to an accounting firm (Ernst & Young), me. So here now, free of charge, are the 05-06 winners (thanks to 'Murray' in the mailroom at E & Y):

Hart: Joe Thornton

Calder: Alexander Ovechkin

Norris: Nicklas Lidstrom

Vezina: Miika Kiprusoff

Adams: Lindy Ruff

Pearson: Jaromir Jagr

Selke, Lady Bing: Little known fact, the winners of these trophies are actually determined by alphabetical order (meaning Brind'amour and Datsyuk will win respectively).

I also talked to a contact close to the NHL head office, and he's hearing alot of rumbling that Joe Thornton will receive the Art Ross. So much, in fact, that I'm willing to stake my reputation on it. Pulling out the big guns.....(bbq4).

Enjoy the show tonight guys! And keep an eye out for me. I'll be in the tuxedo.

Screw Bob McKenzie. Does Pierre Maguire keep shouting at the top of his lungs when he sees a super-secret tuxedo-clad hockey insider like you?
He's actually a mute. His voice is all dubbed in during post-production.
Be sure and tell us all about your trevails making it to toronto and back on 15 dollars, blogging with an aching back running through the the terminal, tapping out your insider info on your pda while dragging your coals and bbq tools behind you in a burlap sack.

Jesus Christ, Brian. You're an incredible douche.
Now now....Brian's right. I did edit my post. I spelled 'tuxedo' with an 'e' at the end, and I thought I should change it. I'm not sure why he found a spelling correction to be so funny, but to each his own.
[b] Relax and enjoy [/b]

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